Posts by Ramon Stoppelenburg

The Responsibility of Being Heard as a Foreigner

Life

Two weeks ago I published an essay on the Cambodia-Thailand conflict and how I could not be silent about it as a foreigner living in Phnom Penh.

It was liked by the thousands and shared by the tens-of-thousands. People even copied and pasted my words to appear under their names. It was shared by very important people too, by Cambodia’s former Minister of Information, by the former editor-in-chief of the Kampuchea newspaper, by senior figures in the Cambodian People’s Party (CPP) and even recommended online by the Senior Advisor to the King of Cambodia. Even the government-aligned media platform FreshNews published my lines as their Editor’s Pick.

I was honored. I was also acutely aware of what it meant.

Because here’s the paradox of being a foreigner with a platform on Cambodian national matters (with my own little Facebook account, let’s not exaggerate): I’m honored to be read, but I’m painfully aware of the complications. The truth is, we foreign residents writing things online perform a fantastic method of self-censorship. We seriously can’t say everything we want to say or point fingers at the elite and name names with absolute responsibility… no, not about anything. It would make life difficult. An interview with uniforms. A visa that doesn’t get renewed when the time comes. Consequences that accumulate quietly.

My essay went viral not because it was radical, but because it offered something desperately scarce in the current discourse: balance. Nuance. An attempt at understanding rather than the tribal cheerleading that I see around me everywhere. And that itself felt revolutionary in a media landscape drowning in nationalistic manure. Yes, I can write that, though.

So yes, I self-censor. I even lost a few Facebook friends who called me a narcissistic idiot for not just ffs mentioning the responsible people by their names. Yes, there are invisible lines I won’t cross because I’d like to stay in this country I’ve chosen to call home. Yes, there are things I think but cannot write, names I know but will not publish.

But “measured speech” from somebody who wants to understand the country he is a welcomed GUEST in, who wishes to understand its geopolitics with its neighbors and desires far more balanced journalism than the current nationalistic propaganda published online, that is still worth so much to me.

I won’t ever use the internet to lecture Cambodia. I’m here to try to understand it. To learn from it. To contribute what I can from where I stand. Because the alternative – silence or propaganda – serves absolutely nobody. Cambodia deserves better. It deserves analysis that doesn’t bend to tribalism. It deserves voices that care enough to “speak carefully” rather than carelessly or not at all.

I’ll keep writing. Not everything I think, but everything I can responsibly say. Because even partial honesty, even imperfect analysis, is better than the binary shouting match that dominates the discourse these days. I’m a foreigner, yes, but one who has chosen to be here, to stay here, to understand this place and contribute what measured truth I’m able to give.

That’s the obligation I feel. That’s the responsibility that comes with being read, heard and shared. And I’ll carry it as carefully as I can.

Ramon Stoppelenburg

On the Cambodia-Thailand Conflict: Why Silence Is Not an Option

Life the blog of Ramon Stoppelenburg

I usually try to stay out of international politics. Not because I don’t care, but because there are always more sides to a story than any one person can fully grasp. Still, I feel compelled to speak up now. Not to preach, not to claim absolute truth, but to start a conversation and share what I see happening between Thailand and Cambodia.

The two countries have a long history of border disputes, many of them rooted in French colonial-era maps. That much is not new. What is new is the scale and nature of the current escalation. This is no longer about a few contested meters of land. Cambodia is being surrounded and attacked by air, land, and sea. Thai forces are operating inside Cambodian territory. Cambodian forces are not inside Thailand.

The imbalance is stark. Thailand’s military budget is roughly four times that of Cambodia. Its armed forces are significantly larger, and it has full air and naval dominance. Over the past week, this power has been used aggressively: naval shelling of coastal towns, F-16 jets striking military positions and civilian infrastructure. Cambodia has no fighter jets and virtually no defense against air attacks. This is a large, well-equipped military confronting a much smaller one, and the direction of aggression matters.

Much of the mainstream regional media is failing to reflect this clearly. Thailand is wealthier, hosts many major media outlets, and has far greater influence over how this conflict is framed. In wars today, the media battle often follows the money. That should worry all of us.

What troubles me most, though, goes deeper than strategy or geopolitics. Cambodia is a deeply traumatized country. The scars of the Khmer Rouge and decades of conflict are not ancient history. They live in families, villages, and collective memory. As hundreds of thousands of people flee yet again, that old trauma is being reopened. Cambodia knows the cost of war in a way very few nations do.

I cannot watch the suffering of Cambodian civilians in silence. And because I also care about ordinary Thai citizens, many of whom are being dragged into a war they did not choose. I love both countries. I have spent time in both. This is not about choosing sides between people. It is about holding governments accountable.

Cambodia welcomed international mediation. Thailand rejected it. External leaders cannot end this war on their own. But public pressure matters. Truth matters.

If this conflict is hidden or misrepresented, it will drag on. If it is seen clearly, pressure builds. Governments respond to that.

To my Thai friends especially: elections are coming. Please vote for leaders who seek peace rather than escalation. War benefits very few, and never the people who pay the highest price.

No one wins a war. It leaves only loss, grief, and damage that lasts for generations.

Please don’t stay silent. At the very least, talk about what is happening. Awareness is not everything, but it is a start.

Ramon Stoppelenburg

(Previously posted on my Facebook)

A Poem for My Adopted Home

Poetry the blog of Ramon Stoppelenburg

I believe good writing should transport you. Whether I’m translating, editing, or telling a story, I aim to bring you closer to the heart of the subject. This poem is my love letter to Cambodia, and perhaps the best way to understand how I work: attentive, layered, and transformative.

Fragments

Between the stone faces of Bayon
and the silent fields where bones still whisper,
a country emerges from morning mist,
carrying its ghosts with quiet dignity.

Ancient temples breathe in jungle air,
while motorbikes weave through Phnom Penh streets,
vendors call out with rhythmic precision,
and children play along the Tonlé Sap’s edge

History sits heavy on tired shoulders,
not a burden but a testament
to survival’s extraordinary art.
The Mekong flows, indifferent to sorrow.

Cambodia does not ask to be understood.
It asks only to be witnessed,
to enter your bones like music,
to transform you without permission.

In crowded markets filled with silk and spice,
beneath temple flowers scenting evening prayers,
through rice fields stretching toward the horizon,
lies a truth that cannot be captured in words.

Saffron-robed monks collect morning alms,
while rain clouds gather over Angkor’s stones.
The country’s heart beats in steady time,
waiting for those willing to simply listen.

And if you ever leave, you carry fragments
the jolt of iced coffee in the midday heat,
the weight of monsoon rain on your skin,
the chaotic symphony of city streets,
eyes that have seen centuries of both beauty and pain.

This is how Cambodia remains:
not conquered, not solved, not possessed,
but eternally echoing in the chambers of your heart,
a song you cannot translate,
a song you will never forget.

Ramon Stoppelenburg

Is Upwork Worth It in 2026? A Freelancer’s Review After 4 Years

Work 17 Comments

I paid Upwork over $5,000 in fees last year. And Honestly? I’d Do It Again.

When I looked at my Upwork earnings report at the end of last year, one number stood out in bold: over $5,000 in fees. That’s how much I paid the platform just to be able to do my job. Just to show up, send proposals, work with clients, and get paid.

And strangely enough… I didn’t feel angry. I wasn’t frustrated or bitter. In fact, I felt – dare I say it? – okay with it.

Actually, more than okay.

Because after four years of freelancing full-time through Upwork, that $5,000 feels less like a loss and more like rent. Rent for the space where I built a career. Rent for the freedom to live and work on my own terms.

So yes, I’m still here. Still working through Upwork. Still paying the platform’s cut. And I’ll gladly keep doing it in 2025 and beyond.

Here’s why.

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Upwork Gets a Lot of Flak

Over the years, I’ve had plenty of people ask me how I can stand working through Upwork. They roll their eyes at the fees. They groan about the competition. Some are convinced it’s just a glorified race to the bottom, where the lowest bidder always wins.

And look, I get it. Those concerns aren’t made up. For plenty of freelancers, the platform can feel crowded, inconsistent, and even discouraging at first. I’ve been there.

But my experience has been… different.

Not because I’m some kind of exception, but because I treated Upwork from day one like a long game. I didn’t just fire off 50 copy-paste proposals and hope something stuck. I showed up consistently. I refined my profile. I learned how to pitch. Then how to pitch better. I found my voice, and the clients who actually wanted to pay for it.

And once that started happening, something shifted: Upwork wasn’t just a freelancing platform anymore. It became a real foundation for my work, and in many ways, my life.

Wait! What is Upwork?

In case you’ve never dipped your toes into this freelancing pool: Upwork.com is a platform that connects freelancers like me with clients from all over the world. Writers, designers, coders, marketers, translators, you name it. If it can be done remotely, someone’s hiring for it.

And while Upwork does take a 10% cut of everything you earn (yes, ouch), they also handle all the admin headaches, contracts, weekly payments (!), client disputes, deadlines, even time tracking if you want it.

Basically, they let me just focus on what I do best: delivering the work.

Upwork screenshot

Why I Stay: Freedom, First and Always

I’ll be honest with you: I was never meant for the 9-to-5 life. You can read that in my bio, my life has been off-the-charts from the regular norm. The idea of showing up at the same desk every day, clocking in and out under fluorescent lights, asking permission to take a lunch break or, god forbid, step away for a pee? It made my skin crawl. But you get a salary at the end of the month! Some people thrive in that structure. I just don’t.

Freelancing through Upwork gave me a way out of that world entirely. These days, I get to decide where I work (hello from Cambodia!), when I work, and who I say yes to. I’ve answered client messages from a breezy café down the slopes of Mount Kilimanjaro. I’ve edited reports from a beachview balcony in Sri Lanka, and taken calls barefoot after a morning swim in Portugal. The setting changes, but the work gets done, and that’s what matters.

That kind of freedom isn’t a perk. It’s the whole point. It’s what keeps me showing up on this platform, even with the fees and the quirks and the occasional late-night deadline (or the 2 am message from a totally different time zone asking for help within an hour). Because the real currency for me isn’t just the money, it’s the freedom to live on my own terms.

And here’s what most people don’t realize about that freedom: it compounds. Every year I work this way, I get better at managing my energy, at setting boundaries, at knowing my worth. I’m not burning out at 55. I’m not dreading Mondays. I’m building something that actually belongs to me.

Global Clients, Endless Variety

One of the unexpected joys of freelancing on Upwork has been the sheer variety of people and projects. One week I’m translating a romance novel set in a small town in Canada, the next I’m editing an investor pitch for a startup in Berlin. One day later a major streaming network asks me to dive into Dutch translations of very important legal documents they needed yesterday.

I’ve worked with CEOs, poets, backpackers-turned-entrepreneurs. Some projects last a day, others turn into long-term collaborations that span years. A few of my best clients now, I’ve been working with for three years straight. They know me. They trust my work. They pay well. That kind of relationship doesn’t happen on job boards where everyone’s a stranger – it happens when you show up consistently, deliver quality, and actually give a damn about the outcome.

It keeps things fresh. And every job teaches me something, about language, about business, about culture. I’ve learned more about global commerce, startup culture, and how different industries communicate just by working with this diverse clientele than I ever would have in a traditional office setting.

Honestly, I never would’ve built a portfolio this diverse if I’d just stuck around locally.

The Security Bit No One Talks About

One of the most exhausting parts of freelancing, especially off-platform, is the uncertainty. You deliver the work, you send the invoice… and then wait. Sometimes you wait days. Sometimes weeks. You send your client a reminder and wait again. Sometimes you wait forever, because the client disappears into the void and suddenly you’re chasing down payment like a debt collector with a polite smile. Dude!

Been there. Hated it.

That’s exactly why I stick with Upwork. Four years in, and I’ve never had to chase down a payment. The whole escrow thing means clients put the money up front – before I even start – and once I deliver, boom, it’s mine. If things get messy? Upwork Support jumps in.  Even when someone comes to me with an “emergency” project that needs to start right now, I still wait. Contract first, payment secured, then I work. I don’t care how urgent they say it is.

And that’s not me being difficult – that’s me being smart. I’ve learned through experience (and watching other freelancers’ horror stories) that the clients worth working with won’t mind that boundary. The ones who pressure you to skip the contract? Those are the ones who ghost on payment.

Is the platform perfect? No. Nothing is. But honestly, not having to send those awkward “just checking in on the invoice” emails ever again? The peace of mind is priceless. It lets me focus on the work instead of the drama. It lets me sleep at night knowing my money is secured.

So About Those Fees

Yes, Upwork takes 10%. And yes, that adds up. Last year alone, I paid over $5,000 in fees.

To put that in perspective: that’s the equivalent of 2 years of rent for a two-bedroom apartment by the beach in Sri Lanka. (And yes, I’ve stayed there. Still do, every few years. Highly recommend the mango lassis.)

But here’s the thing: that money didn’t vanish into a black hole. It bought me something valuable: access. To a global marketplace of clients. To a steady stream of work without cold-pitching strangers or begging for leads. It gave me structure, credibility, and visibility, especially once I built up a solid profile and reputation.

When you’re starting out, that credibility matters. You don’t have to convince a client you’re legitimate – the platform already vouches for you. You’re not figuring out how to receive international payments or navigate tax forms across different countries. Upwork handles the backend so you can focus on what you actually do well.

Would I love to pocket that extra 10%? Of course. Who wouldn’t?

But would I trade the life I’ve built – this freedom, this rhythm, this security – for the sake of saving on fees? Not a chance. The math isn’t about the percentage. It’s about what that percentage actually buys me: a life I designed, on my own terms, with clients I actually want to work with.

No, It’s Not All Rainbows

Let’s not pretend it’s all perfect. Upwork has its rough edges, and I’ve felt them plenty of times. Getting started? That was brutal. I sent dozens of proposals into the void before anyone even blinked in my direction. And even now, some clients come in expecting champagne-level work for tap water rates.

That part never really goes away, you just get better at spotting them. And then there’s the platform itself, with its mysterious algorithms and profile visibility shifts that can leave you wondering if you’ve accidentally become invisible overnight. One month your profile’s featured, the next month you’re watching other people land the jobs.

There’s also the admin overhead. Yes, Upwork handles contracts and payments, but you still have to manage your time, track your projects, keep your profile updated, respond to messages quickly. It’s not passive income – it’s a business, and it requires you to actually show up as a businessperson.

But here’s the thing: if you treat it like a real job, and not some side hustle you only half believe in, things start to change. You get better. You learn how to pitch, how to price, how to politely say no. You build relationships. You get invited back. You find your groove. And suddenly this platform that once felt like a gamble starts to feel like your own little corner of the internet. Your business. Your freedom. On your terms.

For Anyone Standing Where I Once Stood

Upwork isn’t perfect, and like any platform, it has its challenges. The barriers to entry are quite strict, and getting your first couple of gigs may take quite a bit of effort. Competition is real. The algorithms aren’t always in your favor. But once you find your groove, Upwork can be an incredible platform to build a thriving freelance career.

It takes effort. Yes, the fees sting. But where else can you build a sustainable freelance career, with global reach, real flexibility, income security, and genuine freedom… all while working from wherever your Wi-Fi holds up?

If you’re debating whether Upwork is worth it: my answer is yes. It was worth it to me four years ago when I was terrified and broke, and it’s worth it to me now.

If you’re already on Upwork and struggling? I’ve been there. I remember those first few months of silence, of rejected proposals, of wondering if I’d made a huge mistake. Reach out to me. I’m happy to swap tips, share what’s worked for me, or just be a voice in the chaos saying “yeah, this is hard right now, but it’s worth pushing through.”

But if you’re brand new and asking how to get started on Upwork? Here’s the honest truth: please explore the Upwork website and resources directly. I get a lot of messages asking for step-by-step guidance on getting started, and I genuinely wish I could help everyone, but I can’t answer them all. It wouldn’t be fair to the people asking, and it wouldn’t be fair to my actual clients who need my attention. Upwork has excellent onboarding resources, tutorial videos, and a community forum – use those. Do the work yourself first. That’s actually how you’ll learn.

But once you’re in, once you’ve gotten your first few gigs, once you’re wondering how to level up or navigate the weird client situations? That’s when I’m here for you. That’s the conversation I want to have.

See you out there.

Ramon.

The Bland Truth: The Public Response

the blog of Ramon Stoppelenburg 1 Comment

The Bland Truth: A Critique of Portuguese Cuisine

Portuguese don’t really appreciate critique. Especially not from a foreigner! So here you go, their responses on various social media and my replies.

“You clearly don’t understand Portuguese food.”

It won’t go on about the reasoning for this question, which will equally be countered if you have an opinion on politics, or even football. On the contrary, on Portuguese food again, I understand it so well that I could probably prepare bacalhau in at least 50 of its 365 variations. My critique isn’t about ignorance—it’s about potential. Portugal has incredible ingredients, but tradition sometimes holds back what could be an even more exciting cuisine.

“Typical foreigner who only eats in tourist traps.”

If only it was that simple. I’ve eaten in many local tasquinhas, hidden grandma-run kitchens, and home-cooked meals. The common thread? A deep love for boiling things. There are exceptions, of course, but you have to admit: Portuguese seasoning is often just salt and nostalgia.

“Our food is simple and doesn’t need to be covered in spices to be good.”

You folks are famtastic at this, yes. Simplicity is great—when it enhances ingredients rather than stripping them of flavor. A beautifully grilled fish with just olive oil? Unbelievable. But boiled bacalhau with a side of boiled potatoes, followed by a boiled dessert? At some point, you have to wonder if it’s simplicity or just stubbornness.

“You forgot about [insert dish name here]! That has tons of flavor!”

I didn’t forget—there are some fantastic, flavorful dishes. Pica-pau, leitão, and chanfana all bring the excitement. But let’s be honest: they stand out because they contrast so sharply with the rest.

“British food is worse, so you have no right to criticize.”

If we’re ranking cuisines, I fully admit British food has its own crimes against taste. Trust me, it must have been already been reported to the International Tribunal in The Hague. But ‘we’re better than fried beef’ is hardly a strong defense. Wouldn’t you rather aim higher?

“If you don’t like it, leave.”

Oh, I like Portugal very much—that’s why I cared to write this post. It’s precisely because I see so much potential in its cuisine that I wish it would step up and rediscover its lost spice-loving soul. And don’t worry, I am leaving!

“You just have an unrefined palate.”

I appreciate subtle flavors, but there’s a difference between ‘subtle’ and ‘nonexistent.’ One is intentional; the other feels like something went missing in the kitchen.

“You don’t get it—Portuguese food is about tradition.”

Tradition is beautiful, but so is evolution. If Portuguese cuisine embraced the spirit of its explorers, it wouldn’t just preserve the past—it would create an even more exciting future.

“You should try real homemade food.”

I have! And homemade dishes often highlight the best of Portuguese cooking. But even at home, the ‘boil everything’ approach is alive and well. Surely we can agree that a little extra seasoning wouldn’t hurt?

“This is offensive.”

It’s not meant to offend—it’s meant to spark conversation and the comments on this post on my social media proves this. Portugal’s cuisine has all the right ingredients to be even better. A little self-reflection never hurt anyone.

“We don’t need to change our cuisine just to please foreigners.”

Absolutely not! But wouldn’t it be ironic if a country famous for global exploration refused to explore new flavors itself?

“You clearly haven’t tried our cheeses, sausages, or seafood.”

Oh, I have, and they’re fantastic! Which is exactly why it’s so frustrating that they often end up in dishes that don’t let them shine.

“If it’s so bad, why do millions of tourists love it?”

Tourists also love pastel de nata and port wine — two of Portugal’s greatest hits. But even the best albums have some filler tracks, and let’s be honest: boiled bacalhau is the ‘skip’ button on the menu.

“You just don’t appreciate real, authentic flavors.”

I do! That’s why I’m asking — where did all the spices go? Portugal used to bring the world flavor, but somewhere along the way, it seems to have misplaced its own.

“Maybe your taste buds are broken.”

Possibly! Or maybe they’re just desperately searching for something beyond salt and boiled potatoes. Either way, I promise to keep investigating — preferably somewhere with paprika.

The Bland Truth: A Critique of Portuguese Cuisine

Food 2 Comments

I wrote an unsalted opinion on my experiences with the Portuguese kitchen, “The Bland Truth: My Critique of the Portuguese Kitchen“ and was published in the Dutch newspaper De Volkskrant on February 28 and in the Portuguese newspaper Diário de Notícias on March 3, 2025.

Below is the English version of this article:

      Logo

The Bland Truth:
My Critique of the Portuguese Kitchen

Portuguese food is great — when it wants to be. After living in Portugal for nearly two years, the Portuguese cuisine remains a culinary enigma to me. With fresh fish and seafood that would entice Neptune himself and olive oil of a quality that deserves museum veneration, the recipe for success seems complete. All the more remarkable, then, that a country which once dominated the global spice trade has devolved into a gastronomic culture where ‘overcooking’ appears to be the motto.

 

Walking through the streets of Lisbon, one might think that Portuguese cuisine still reflects the rich history of the country as a colonial power. This was, after all, the empire that gave Thai cuisine its spiciness and introduced new flavours from Africa to India. But anyone entering a traditional Portuguese restaurant encounters a culinary reality that would make Vasco da Gama shudder.

Take, for instance, the national obsession with bacalhau, the dried and salted cod that, according to legend, can be prepared in 365 different ways. After tasting what feels like the complete annual assortment, I must conclude that the variations differ mainly in name – the taste remains remarkably consistent: salt. Whether it’s bacalhau à brás (with egg and potato), bacalhau com natas (in cream sauce), or simply boiled bacalhau, the result is reminiscent of an old newspaper soaked in seawater.

The treatment of vegetables also raises questions. In a country blessed with fertile soil and abundant sunlight, one would expect vegetables to retain their natural flavour. Instead, they are often so thoroughly overcooked that even the most vital broccoli capitulates into a colourless mass without character.

It must be said that this culinary experience is at least friendly to one’s wallet – for about ten pounds, you get a generous portion of any dish in most local restaurants. The question is whether quantity outweighs the quality of preparation.

Most intriguing is how a nation that once controlled the global spice trade now uses spices so sparingly. The average Portuguese kitchen cupboard seems to know only two flavourings: salt and more salt. It’s as if somewhere in history it was decided that the experiment with spices had lasted long enough.

For the culinary adventurer in Lisbon, there is hope in the form of international restaurants. African establishments serve piri-piri chicken that actually tastes of more than just hot pepper. Indian restaurants offer curries that recall Portugal’s rich history in Goa. Even Brazilian restaurants show how Portuguese cuisine might have developed if it hadn’t decided somewhere in the eighteenth century that further evolution was superfluous.

The tragedy is that all the ingredients for culinary greatness are present. The fish and seafood are among Europe’s finest, the olive oil is truly sublime (mine comes directly from the farmer), and the possibilities for integrating influences from former colonies are endless. Yet traditional Portuguese cuisine manages to transform this promising foundation into dishes that make British deep-fried cuisine almost seem avant-garde.

Let this not be a definitive judgement, however, but rather a call for culinary revolution. For somewhere, in a forgotten kitchen cupboard in Lisbon, there must still be a dusty spice jar that remembers more glorious times. A time when Portuguese cooks not only explored the world but also dared to experiment with more than just salt and nostalgia. Perhaps it’s time to open that jar again, if only to give rest to the spirit of Vasco da Gama – for even the most hardened explorer deserves better than endlessly overcooked bacalhau.

Who knows, if Portugal recalibrates its culinary compass, we might find our way back to that time when the country not only traded spices but actually used them.

Until then, it remains a gastronomic mystery: how a nation that taught the world to season has itself become lost on the way to the spice racks of history. But hey, there’s always pastéis de nata – because even in the darkest culinary times, there must be something to eat your worries away with.

It did not stay with only this post, so continue here to see how the response was:

The Bland Truth: The Public Response

 

That’s a wrap of 6 months in Sri Lanka

Adventure the blog of Ramon Stoppelenburg Travel

My 6 months in Sri Lanka has drawn to a close, marking a remarkable escape from the Portuguese winter and a whirlwind of unforgettable experiences in the humid hot tropics.

Tomorrow I will board various planes and head back to Almada, Portugal.

From cozy guesthouses and lively hostel dorms to luxurious villas, this recent journey led me from the helm of a kitchen as head chef to managing various hotels and restaurants, and from savoring endless rice and curries, tuna steaks and the best burgers in the world to indulging in the opulent buffets of the Marriott hotel 🤫 all along the enchanting south coast of Sri Lanka.


Absolute credits go to all the characters that played their own role in this unforgettable season of “My Incredible Life”.

Here you all go: Jasmine, Shane, Emma, Zack, Aaron, Vanessa, Jenny, Nawid, Niklaus, Axel, Elias, Allan, Ollie (Oliver), David, Gayan, Kalindu, Lihero, Dolly, Anura, Derrick, Alice, Manju, Ravi, Ana, Nataly, Merel, Julian, Lukas, Lea, Sergey, Robert, Nadine, Indiga, Weri, Valeria (Val), Pawan, Same Era, Ramona, Marijke, Dani, Kai’ana, Diane, Iso, Erik, Ivan, Mahla, Lena, Kunas, Ayala, Nura, Telani, Laksan, Keit, Natasja, Annik, Avi, Katya, Eliyah, Orit, Sjoerdje, Sasha, Karen, Hasun, Cecilia, Julia, Aminda, Lalitha, Malitha, Lanka, Achinte, Sajith, Rachika, Gertjan, Veronica, Lahiru, Sahan, Nawura, Panishu, Pasindu, Vihanga, Vernon, Sarrah, cat Bella, kitten Maribella, cat Boris and Zara.

You made it unforgettable.

WHAT DO I NOT MISS:

Mosquitoes
The Humidity
Too Spicy food
Bus rides
Boiling water for drinking water
Sun lotion
Citronella
“Fur Elise” bakery carts
Sri Lanka’s sugar problem (sugar in everything!)
Pepsi “not containing fruit”
Gentrified avocado on toast places with their equally similar Spotify free playlists (“press the banner to go premium”)
Foreigners who want to rescue all the streetdogs (just no!)
Social media advertising in Russian or Hebrew

WHAT I MISS

Bella cat and baby Mirabella
The sunshine 😘
The amazing staff at the SurfStation Hotel
Riding along the coast
Chicken puff pastries
Kottu
Motorbike
Newspapers
Butterscotch ice cream
Daylong Restaurant
Tacos at Dine ‘n Sip

So, here is an inspirational post!

Adventure Life

My name is Ramon, I originate from The Netherlands, and I started calling myself a serial entrepreneur.

Friends would say I do weird things, as I don’t ever wish to get stuck at an office or in an urban rat race, and because I always come up with something great. Not all great things work out, but that’s okay. You fall, you stand up and brush off your knees. Then you go again.

When I was young, at the start of this century, I had created one of the first social networks ever, as I managed to travel the world for free thanks to people who invited me over through a website I created for myself, which I am not allowed to mention here.

Thankfully UNESCO made this Digital Heritage to be preserved forever. Trust me, I use that fact more than having a CV. (It inspired the folks to create Couchsurfing more than it did one Zuckerberg, I presume).

Then I ran a bar/restaurant for years, and wrote a book, while hosting a travel show on Dutch NPO Radio 1, when I wasn’t doing long-distance expedition reporting for Columbus Magazine or Max Models.

After living in Cambodia for over 10 years, where I ran three small community movie theaters in its capital city, produced vegan cheeses, hosted a radio show on the local radio and started a healthy dinner box delivery service, I moved to Tbilisi, Georgia, where I ran an alcoholic cupcakery, then to Casablanca, Morocco, only to end up in the quaint town of Almada, just south of the Tourist Central Station called Lisbon, in Portugal.

Darn, Portugal is beautiful, affordable and delicious! Except during its winter months, so that’s when you can find me in Sri Lanka.

Currently I am mostly active as a dreamer, massage therapist, copywriter, translator, social media assistant for old Fortune 500 men who can’t figure out how their phone works (they exist!) and am an online marketing advisor. In my free time I organize climbs up Mount Kilimanjaro in Tanzania.

Trust me.

Please pursue your dreams, even when they find themselves far away. Actually living your dreams is the most gratifying reason to be alive.

Tinder Dates and Culture Clashes: My Casablanca Experience

Adventure Life Travel 1 Comment

As Time Goes By: Two Impressive Months in Casablanca

After seven restless months in Georgia, where life as a digital nomad didn’t quite take off, I landed in Casablanca, Morocco. Not because I’d spun a globe and jabbed my finger at it, but thanks to an unexpected invitation from American friends I’d met years earlier in Cambodia. They offered me the chance to recover and recharge, fully at their expense, in their spacious villa nestled inside a secure expat compound on the grounds of a large American school.

I arrived on February 9, 2022, with just enough funds to bring along my ever-traveling-along cat, Fifty Shady, via Paris. The villa I stayed in had three bedrooms, a giant kitchen, and a huge lounge with a giant television. The family was generous and welcoming. There were daily breakfasts, hearty lunches, and dinners that either involved someone cooking up something, or all of us hopping over to the nearby Morocco Mall for American-sized McDonald’s meals or pizza delivery. Comfort food, comfort zone.

But that compound wasn’t Casablanca. Not really. We were on the outskirts, in a suburban ghost town-in-the-making, a future Moroccan Riviera still under construction. Even a walk to the beach was off-limits due to cranes, fences, and bulldozers. It was a fascinating place to be, but culturally sterile. And while I was grateful to my hosts, they had little interest in Morocco itself. Their world revolved around the campus and the Morocco Mall. I, on the other hand, was itching to see what lay beyond the compound walls.

Enter the “Petit Taxis” and Dating Apps

I started exploring the city the way many expats and broke nomads do, by taking local “petit taxis,” battered old cars shared with strangers, sometimes even chickens. You flagged one down along the main road, climbed in if there was space, and tossed a few dirhams at the driver when you hopped out. Cheap and delightfully chaotic. Or I’d use Bolt, the Uber alternative, which cost a bit more but gave me the illusion of control.

But navigating Casablanca wasn’t just about geography, it was about people. My American hosts weren’t much help there. They worked all day, didn’t speak Arabic or French, and had little desire to dive into Moroccan culture. And while I love wandering solo through neighborhoods and parks (Casablanca has incredible parks, by the way), I wanted some real connection.

So I turned to Tinder and Bumble. I wasn’t looking for love, or anything spicy (this is Morocco after all), but for connection. Conversation. Company.

And surprisingly, it worked.

Dates Without Kisses (or Even Handshakes)

Meeting locals through dating apps in an Islamic country turned out to be the perfect way to ease into the culture. Here, a “date” meant coffee or dinner in a public place. No touching. No hugging. No kiss on the cheek. At first, I didn’t even know if I was allowed to shake hands. Public displays of affection? Strictly off the menu.

And yet, I met some wonderful women. Not romantically, just real, curious, kind people. They were eager to talk, share, and help a foreigner discover their city. One of them, Asma, even took me on a spontaneous trip to Marrakesh. We wandered souks, dodged mopeds, and drank mint tea in chilly courtyards. She loved her country, but like many young Moroccans I met, she dreamed of leaving it, for France, for Canada. “Anything is better than here,” she told me.

Many of them were over 30 and still lived with their parents, perfectly normal in Moroccan culture but also a symptom of economic stagnation. Jobs were scarce. Opportunities even scarcer. They confided in me, not just about Casablanca, but about how it felt to live in a society caught between tradition and modernity. Between beauty and limitation.

Tea, Couscous, and Culture Shock

I had expected food to be a huge part of the experience, and it was, though I had to discover it on my own. My American hosts barely looked at Moroccan dishes without suspicion. When I pointed out couscous in the supermarket, they grimaced as if I’d picked up a can of dog food. So I took local advice instead, and dined at hidden gems like the traditional restaurant Le Cuisto, often guided by my app matches.

I also went to the movies (everything dubbed in French, of course), walked endlessly through French-colonial streets lined with palm trees, and soaked up the sun in vast, well-kept parks. Casablanca had the elegance of a tired starlet, still graceful, but worn around the edges. I was falling for it.

But even here, I couldn’t escape moments of absurd culture clash. Once, a local woman invited me and a university professor to a rooftop bar. She arrived 15 minutes late and was nearly denied entry. The doorman took one look at her, alone, unaccompanied, and said, “Whores are not welcome here.” A woman entering a bar solo? That made her suspect. We argued, she was let in, but the damage lingered. Casablanca was modern, but only to a point.

Time to Move On

As the end of my 90-day visa approached, a month-long Ramadan loomed, and with it, a full cultural shutdown. Cinemas, cafes, and restaurants would close, and Casablanca’s already slow pulse would nearly flatline. My hosts suggested I do a quick visa run to Lisbon. And honestly, they had me at “Lisbon.”

So I packed up, got Fifty Shady vaccinated and vet-approved, and booked that flight out. I was sad to leave, but the timing was right.

Casablanca had given me exactly what I needed: rest, kindness, long walks, and a deeper understanding of Morocco, one date at a time.

Casablanca Was Real

Forget the fake Rick’s Café (no, the movie Casablanca was never filmed here). Casablanca is very real. It’s complicated, warm, frustrating, and absolutely worth exploring. You just have to know where to look, and be brave enough to swipe right once in a while.

Beslama, Casablanca.

Lisbon, I’m coming for you.

Ramon.

 

PS: This is just the short version. I’m writing the full story (more dates, more absurd culture clashes, more late-night rooftop conversations) into a much longer memoir that I can’t wait to share.

Young Holland Publisher Spending Summer (1991)

Adventure Life the blog of Ramon Stoppelenburg

In one of my previous lives I was a big boy publisher, publishing two different monthly magazines.
I was 14 (yes, I had hair).

We are talking about 1989-1991, before I went to hi-jack the newspaper of my high school.

This young publisher had to expand his wings and traveled all the way to the town of Independence in Oregon, USA, where I was under the mentoring wings of former FDNY firefighter-turned highly awarded photographing journalist BILL BONGIORNO (who sadly passed away way too early in the late 90’s) for an entire hot summer of 1991.

It was there where the young staff journalist JOHN OLIVER interviewed me for the local paper Sun-Enterprise.

This might pop up in my upcoming book “WHAT THE HELL DIDN’T YOU DO?!”

Click on the image below if you want to see it large.

What I learned as a remote worker

Life the blog of Ramon Stoppelenburg Tips Travel

This month marks the end of my first 8 months as a person who only works remotely, doing only online jobs through Upwork.com. That’s where 100% of my income now comes from. Last year I had lost all my savings and was covered by a few friends and family for a few months and slowly climbed out of the rubble.

 So, in no particular order…

The 10 most important things I have learned about working in the online gigs world:

1. Clients (people, businesses or agencies) post their jobs with their budget and you send them a proposal with your rate. Of course there will be many other people bidding a lower rate and most cases these people get the jobs so the client saves money. But stick to your professional expert level and stick to your desired rate. Once the clients find out cheap labour means bad quality rush jobs, they knock on your door. You get paid by the hour (and thanks to a nifty time tracker from Upwork or entered manual hours) or by project (milestone).

2. Get your business profile right. It’s your business card to anybody you send a proposal to. Be in your client shoes. They get the job proposal from you and might click on your profile on Upwork.com. What they read about you is what they get. Be straight to the point, professional and make them want to pick you for the job. You can always add a link to your professional website if you wish to elaborate more on the services you offer. But keep the client impressed: even your website has to be solid professional too.

3. There is no right or wrong answer on the number of hours you need to work. Sometimes it takes 75 hours one week and 30 the next. The following week I work only 4 hours. The most important thing for me was generating income, also for the long run.

4. Burnout happens when you lose control, not when you work hard for long periods of time. Be organised, arrange your time slots, get those bloody yellow post-it notes in your face.

5. Self-care through nutrition, exercise, down-time (doing nothing!), unplugging, etc. is a MUST. You are not a robot and you can’t go on forever. Do something totally different for the same time you “work”. Go to a gym and get a workout done. Turn your favourite song up loud and dance in your living room (nobody seems to do that at an office).

6. If you don’t have a solutions-oriented mentality, you likely won’t enjoy working online through Upwork gigs. “You” are the structure and all resources are available online.

7. Don’t hang around folks who say something like “can’t be done” or “why would you do that stuff?”. Go find people that accomplish difficult things against all odds and who keep on trying and keep going. Find people that inspire you.

8. Toxic clients can destroy your culture, so get rid of them immediately. You are nobody’s slave: end the contract when things take a weird turn or the communication goes off rails while you did your utmost and professional best: take the loss and cut it from your life. And breathe again. That clears up.

9. Stay active online. If you stare at your screen and wonder why nobody wants to hire you, you should quit and get a real job. Like what ordinary people do. But no, we are special people living a special life and doing special jobs. Send in those job proposals – even daily and even when you have ongoing gigs – for anything you could handle. Clients need supermen like us!

10. It’s hard to plan things in advance as jobs come random. I spent plenty of time daily to send in job proposals for any job I could handle and get job contracts offered in return. But suddenly that doesn’t match the planned long weekend out. Make the choice: cancel that weekend or work during that weekend away? Will I miss a solid $800 income or will I enjoy time with family or friends? Decide what you need most at that time.

11. Don’t ever burn bridges. We all make mistakes from time to time. If you do, apologize. Make things right. You might lose an unhappy client. I could tell you about that one time with that loony Fortune500 CEO that was my client and he was a total – but I don’t. Stay humble and friendly. Your personal brand and your network are the most important things you have.

So how is it going for me as a remote worker at the moment? Boy, did things improve! I started rather empty handed, with an empty profile and no reviews, client feedback or recommendations.

Persistence paid off and Upwork gigs became my real life job, which I can schedule whenever I want, wherever I want. And it is finally paying off too.

Regards from Almada, Portugal!

The 26 Best Job Sites To Find Remote Work

Life the blog of Ramon Stoppelenburg Tips Travel

With Remote Work I don’t mean you working from your way cheaper Caribbean cabin with approval of your boss in New York City. I mean it more the digital nomad way: you can work wherever you are or wherever you want to be. You only need a laptop and a sturdy internet connection. And a bank account to receive money on.

I have always done freelance jobs for over 15 years. As an independent social media specialist I started with applying offline or with actual office visits. Laying out plans or basically offering my services. With moving to the tropics from 2011 I had to depend fully on the internet.

Thankfully the internet grew along and more and more platforms came up helping me pave a way to work online and get paid for the work I did. Online jobs not only gave me flexibility with my time but also allowed me to make my dream of living wherever I wanted come true.

And yes, when I lived in the Netherlands I needed to make at least €3,000 per month to pay the mortgage, insurance premiums and pay a ridiculous amount of tax on everything I earned. Moving to a country where the monthly costs are not even exceeding €1,000 took away a lot of hassles!

It’s not for everybody, of course. But if you seriously crave (and actually can) leave your current rat race life behind and Just Go, go for it. The world has enough people that are totally happy with the security of a huge fixed salary, their house with rent or mortgage, marriage, kids and being home in time for dinner. They really won’t miss you either.

While building a freelance career from zero can be tough, finding remote work (where you can work for a company location independently) doesn’t have to be hard. There are plenty of remote job sites offering fully remote full-time or contract-based positions.

2018: My office in a hostel in Ella, Sri Lanka.

With that said, the internet can be an intimidating place. When I signed up with some platforms, I thought I would never survive this way. Look at all these people already going for these job offers! And they might be so much better than me! And look, their rating on their profile is going through the roof and I have nothing yet! That’s where I kept going. Everybody had to start at that same beginning. I scored jobs, I earned money, people rated me 5 stars and that earned me more jobs!

Below I have collected the 26 best job sites I have ever come across, with some additional information on each so you can find the best one for your needs. Some I use myself, others I have ran away from quickly.

I either got work from these sites, helped or referred others, or have colleagues who got long-term work from trusted companies through these job boards. Did I miss anything new and not listed here? Send it in the comments at the bottom of this blog.

Your remote income is only an app away.

  1. For remote working freelancers: Upwork.com.

Upwork is an American platform, used to be known as Elance in the past. Upwork connects businesses (the clients) with independent professionals (us freelancers) around the globe. It is the world’s largest freelance talent marketplace and that’s why I put it on number one. You can send a proposal to any job you see available. You get paid by Upwork once the job is finished and the client is happy.

Everybody starts at the beginning. And when I signed up I was a novice with no experience or rating on that site. I still proposed to job offers and slowly raised my rates. It took me six months to make a four-figure income per month through jobs I scored through Upwork.
www.upwork.com

  1. For Startups, Mostly US-Based: AngelList.

AngelList is basically like Match.com for startups, helping them get connected to both investors and employees. You’ll find 1000s of jobs here at some of the BEST startups around the world. It is very user-friendly and allows you to browse jobs by location, role, technology, and salary. Try this if you want to work at a start-up.
www.angel.co/remote

  1. For Creatives: Authentic Jobs.

This site is best for creatives. Enter ‘remote’ in the location box and you’ll get a list of full-time and contract-based (freelance) job opportunities for writers, designers, and other creative professionals.
https://authenticjobs.com/

  1. Blockchain Jobs: Cryptocurrency Jobs.

This site is the hotspot for finding blockchain jobs, cryptocurrency jobs, Bitcoin jobs, Ethereum jobs or, DeFi jobs. Absolutely not my niche, but worth a mention on this list. Filter for ‘remote’ in the location search block and get a whole list of blockchain jobs with startups for engineers, designers, customers support, sales, and marketing.
www.cryptocurrencyjobs.co

  1. Europe Based: F6S Jobs.

This site is focused on startups in Europe. It’s a home for founders and startup programs with thousands of jobs.
www.f6s.com

  1. For Contract-Based Jobs: Freelancer.

Freelancer is one of the world’s largest marketplace for freelancing and crowdsourcing. On this site, you can find work in software dev, writing, data entry, design, engineering, sales/marketing, accounting, and legal.
www.freelancer.com

  1. For Designers and Developers: Gun.io.

A site for full-time freelancers in software development, UI/UX, design, project management, etc. Based on your skills, the Gun.io team hand-matches you with clients.
www.gun.io

  1. For Freelancers: Guru.

Guru is a marketplace for employers and freelancers to connect, collaborate and get work done on a contract or one-off basis.
www.guru.com

  1. For Freelancers: Hubstaff Talent.

This site is a hub for remote startups, software companies, agencies, and e-commerce businesses looking to hire freelancers. Great place to find one-off projects and contract-based work.
https://talent.hubstaff.com

  1. A HUGE Job Board For Just About Anything: Indeed.

One of the biggest sites for job seekers where you can find pretty much millions of jobs online. Enter ‘Remote’ in the Where search box to access the list of remote job offers. Tip: You can set up job alerts to be notified by email whenever new jobs match your criteria.
www.indeed.com

  1. Diverse Job Board For Everyone: Jobicy.

Categorized remote job board with a diverse range of roles from sales and marketing to finance to programming and design.
www.jobicy.com

  1. A Curated Collection Of Job Boards: Jobkit.

A collection of job boards that you can filter by category (creative, freelance, remote, startup etc). Click on ‘Remote’ to view remote job boards.
www.jobkit.co

  1. For European Tech Pros: Landing.jobs.

A European online marketplace for folks in the tech field.
www.landing.jobs

  1. For anything: LinkedIn.

I suppose you already heard about LinkedIn unless you’re hiding under a rock. But did you know it’s not only for finding 9 to 5 office jobs? LinkedIn offers several remote and freelance positions as well.
www.linkedin.com

  1. For Freelancers: PeoplePerHour.

Online marketplace for freelance work and services. It’s like Fiverr, where you can set up your skills for anybody who needs to book them from you.
www.peopleperhour.com

  1. For Interpretation, Transcription and Translation Professionals: ProZ.com.

This site is the leading source for finding freelance translation, transcription and interpretation jobs. It took me over one hour from registering to get everything set up an once it did not accept my US bank account for payments while living in the European Union, I gave up the idea of ever working with ProZ.
www.proz.com

  1. For Latin Americans: RemoteCo

This site is dedicated to connecting SMEs to remote workers in Latin America.
www.remoteco.com

  1. For All Things Remote Work: Remote Co.

Remote companies, remote workers, remote work articles, online courses, remote jobs, career coaching and so much more for remote workers.
www.remote.co

  1. Diverse Job Board For Remote Work: Remote Ok.

Categorized high-quality remote job board with a diverse range of roles. Roles range from sales and marketing to finance and legal to programming and design.
www.remoteok.com

  1. Diverse Job Board For Remote Work: Remote Work.

Categorized high-quality remote job board with a diverse range of roles. Roles range from sales and marketing to finance and legal to programming and design.
www.remote.work

  1. Diverse Job Board For Remote Work: Remotive.

A robust job board for roles in about every industry. You can find work for every niche, including sales, finance, design, and tech.
www.remotive.com

  1. For Developers: TechMeAbroad.

TechMeAbroad only lists jobs from tech startups and companies offering visa sponsorship. Find the job of your dreams, in the country of your dreams.
www.techmeabroad.com

  1. For Anyone: The Muse.

Enter ‘Remote’ in the Location search box and select ‘Flexible/Remote’ to access a wide range of remote and location-free jobs in any field.
www.themuse.com

  1. For Developers, Designers and Finance Professionals: Toptal.

Exclusive network of the top freelance software developers, designers, and finance experts in the world. And when I say The Top, they mean the top 3% best of them. They provide access to top companies, a community of experts, and resources that can help accelerate your career.
www.toptal.com

  1. For Interpretation, Transcription and Translation Professionals: TranslatorsCafé.com.

My bilingual friends love using this site to find remote translation and one-off projects. Interpretation, transcription, and translation freelance jobs. The site’s design will bring you back to 1995, so don’t be afraid to slowly take it all in. This ain’t 2022 anymore, Toto.
www.translatorscafe.com

  1. Huge Remote Database For Anyone: We Work Remotely.

One of my go-to favorites. On this awesome site, you can find remote (fulltime) jobs in marketing, design, programming, customer support, DevOps and sysadmin, copyrighting, business/exec, and management. Companies pay already $299 to post one job on it, so that seriously raises the bar for everybody.
www.weworkremotely.com

You can leave a comment on this blog if you scroll down.

How Georgia didn’t work out for me…

the blog of Ramon Stoppelenburg

After a lifetime in Cambodia (11 years!) I moved to Georgia in August 2021, ready for another lifetime in Tbilisi doing other adventurous and absolutely Ramon-like stuff. But it didn’t work out and I have moved country again.

Cambodia had me blessed as long as people would visit my movie theaters, so besides a few pandemic months of closure in Phnom Penh, that actually worked out very well. Cambodia had me spoiled. And add the fine weather, the cheap life and the enormous bubbles of foreigners that keep that country going – which also makes it a warm bath for anybody going there.

Life plans, ideas for the future, craving for seasons and changes in landscape and a little desire to be a little bit closer to my aging parents; those were reasons for me that I would not stay in Cambodia and end up as that old man that asks if you want popcorn with your movie.

While trying to sell the movie theaters (3 locations in 2017), I studied new locations for life. I had great interests for Buenos Aires and Mexico, but that would have been a continent too far. I studied Spain and Portugal, looked at the Baltic countries and even Finland. Language would be no problem; I would just have to learn it.

Georgia was on my mind for years too. A magical country, with its lush green valleys and snowcapped mountains, where they made wine before the French even knew how to pour it, the food is a hidden gem and the chacha only for those who actually dare to participate in a traditional supra. It has more history than I could ever experience in Cambodia! It was also located nicely near the EU and had a handful of low-budget airlines allowing me to fly into Europe without breaking the bank.

And one major reason why Georgia was on top of my list: life would be 40% cheaper than Cambodia. Remember, I am Dutch, right?

The pandemic made it impossible for me to sell the movie theaters. The last possibility was canceled in late 2020, when a future with tourists and a rather normal life in Phnom Penh was still a rather impossible sight. I stayed until August 2021 and put every dollar in my savings. These savings would make me survive at my next location, while I would set up something amazing and life would be great again. You should know I am a dreamer.

And Tbilisi is amazing. Its cobblestoned old town with mostly German architecture reflects a long, complicated history, with periods under Persian and Russian rule. Its diverse architecture encompasses Eastern Orthodox churches, ornate art nouveau buildings and Soviet Modernist structures. Looming over it the city are the Narikala, a reconstructed 4th-century fortress, and Kartlis Deda, the iconic statue of the “Mother of Georgia” which welcomes visitors with a warning.

Mother of Georgia symbolizes the Georgian national character: in her left hand she holds a bowl of wine to greet those who come as friends, and in her right hand is a sword for those who come as enemies.

You can understand that I spent these late-summer days exploring the city and the country with ultimate joy. The honeymoon months in a new city where every corner exposed another beautiful photo opportunity, or a café or restaurant to remember. And every street had a story.

I had set my mind to find out if this city could use a movie theater, a community movie theater, the coziest place in town where you just want to go and watch movies on a big screen. Which was fun to explain to the foreigners I met, which understood my dream partially. “You should have a movie night at this or that bar on Thursday!” was for me a no-go. Georgians would ramble with their English and point to the top floors of the malls that has the multiplex cinemas with their 2D, 3D and 4D options. And ask if my movies would be in Georgian, please?

Knowing exactly what I would need location-wise, I set out for location scouting. It took me a few months to figure out which neighborhoods would work, which are out of reach, or too residential. I had to find a hub and found that in the neighborhood right next to the Old Town, in Sololaki. With its wine bars, coffeeshops and restaurants lining pretty much every street, this area looked promising.

I found a $400pm 2-bedroom apartment there with ease and only had to find this business location to set out my dreams and show the people here what a good life with great movies is.

But that’s where I struggled.

I met the most friendly and enthusiastic real estate agents that would totally promise me exactly that what I was looking for, but they came with flooded dungeons with pillars (“these pillars might be a problem”), oversized former gym halls (“how can I heat this up in winter months?”) to class rooms of an elementary school (“you mean, there will still be classes given here in day time, but I can use it in the evening?”). One guy even took me to a secret underground and never-used metro station, where I walked around the platform and asked out loud: “what can ever happen here?”.

The few places that would fit my plans, were boarded up. Probably for years. Phone numbers stayed unanswered or the location was owned by four owners and they all want to have a cut on the rent. It was not weird to hear $4,000 rent on a 100m2 basement. And goodbye.

In the meantime I started a side hustle. I discovered nobody was selling cupcakes in this city and that opened a chance for me to jump in and see how it goes if I would be that somebody. I even added alcohol to my cakes and went commercial with my Shotcakes. Shotcakes received raving reviews, had enthusiastic crowds and was a big hit at parties. But I would have to sell 12 cakes (one box) per day to even get even on my rent and very slowly I realized that was not actually happening. Perhaps if I threw in a giant marketing campaign to get the entire city involved, but I had no budget for that.

It was in December when that budget had shrunk that much that I actually saw the bottom. Finding a business location and starting a crowdfunding to begin something magical was getting less and less of a feasible chance. I could easily start the 5th wine bar in my street, or start neighborhood bar number 11 on the same street, like everybody else seem to do – while I see them barely survive financially.

Stress on the money side, not finding what I was looking for, lack of decent sleep (oh, while living above a noisy club), not caring about myself that much ended up in an unexpected epileptic seizure right on the street on my way to the bakery. With bloody scabs on my hands and face I realized I had to change my priorities – and perhaps my dreams.

I became a remote worker, trying to find paid hours of work that can be done for an employer anywhere in the world, as long as they get done. I can write, I can translate, I can copywrite, I can do marketing, I can do social media management, I can do publishing, I can do proofreading and editing.

But I am not alone in that world. I had already figured out that most foreigners that I had met in Tbilisi are remote workers. And they had been for a while and came all the way from Chiang Mai or Da Nang as visa-issues made their easy life there difficult, while Georgia just lets everybody enter for a one-year-free visa period.

Where in Cambodia foreigners can be teachers, work at NGO’s, volunteers, artists, entrepreneurs or even gold diggers, in Georgia I met remote workers. Only remote workers. Of which 50% can only talk about crypto and trading coins and I loose all my enthusiasm at the beer table. I even met a young lady that was bored and was asking around what she could do with her $2,500 of money she made monthly. (Her 5,000 friends on Facebook weren’t helpful enough, she stated)

While making my online hours every day and Georgia got colder and colder, I would sit in my sweater next to the heating elements in my living room, looking up to the sky where sunrays would pass my house. My remote jobs would pay my rent. Barely.

And I am just going to be honest about it. If nothing would change big time, I would be in trouble. Financially.

When my most necessary piece of equipment here was about to die on me, friends abroad bought me a brand new laptop! My parents chipped in on the rent. Others would offer my support, too. Even though I am historically known as that traveling freeloader, I knew that could be not be the rest of my life. I made it to getting 45 years old and I am not done yet!

I made a few foreign friends here (my Shotcakes came in handy), but it was difficult to enter the local market in anyway. Georgians prefer to speak Russian better than English and then there were the cultural differences. Forget about dating, because Georgian women are very conservative and the foreigners would talk my head off about crypto trading and their weird remote work hours in different time zones.

I realized Cambodia was amazing when it came to meeting random people, and Georgia was not going to be that way.

I realized also that if I can survive doing online remote jobs, I don’t have to do them in a barely heating apartment, wearing a sweater and sitting next to the heating elements. Heck, I don’t have to be in Georgia to do that.

I had to move on again, that was clear. But with an almost insufficient bank account and a minimal income, I could not just see myself move off to a country where I could do all my daily jobs under a palm tree.

That’s where other friends jumped in. Young folks around my age that knew me from Cambodia. Who know how my clock ticks and what exactly makes my heart beat. They noticed it wasn’t working out for me in Georgia too. I wasn’t happy anymore.

“Come stay with us for a while?” was their invite. We’ll see what I could do there. They know people there. To get myself on my feet again. Knowing them I would be surrounded by happy and positive people, whose life had been a rollercoaster from time to time too, and I can relate to a lot.

So that’s where I ended up. In Casablanca, Morocco. It took a while though, because when I was ready to leave Georgia in December last year, Morocco closed its borders due to the omicron fears and I had to stay put and simply get through every day in the most possible boring ways. When Morocco announced to open again from February 7, I booked the flights out of Georgia with whatever funds my credit card allowed me. Together with Shady, my weird Cambodian cat.

It’s time to explore a new country, a new HUGE city, but be more focused on my health, on opportunities and perhaps dream a little bit less. But be more happy. I am very thankful for these friends here to put me up, in their house, and adopt me as their goofy half-brother. Perhaps I should bake them some Shotcakes.

You can now continue on my blog on my time in Morocco, right here.

Get vaccinated

Life the blog of Ramon Stoppelenburg

I’m fully vaccinated and got boostered last week. No, I don’t know “what’s in it”. Neither this vaccine or the ones I had as a child. Nor do I know what’s in the 11 secret herbs and spices at KFC.

I also don’t know exactly what’s in Ibuprofen or Tylenol — they just cure my headaches & my pains.

I don’t know what’s in tattoo ink, botox and fillers, or every ingredient in my soap, shampoo or deodorants.

I don’t know the long term effect of mobile phone use, or whether or not that restaurant I ate at yesterday REALLY used clean foods and washed their hands.

There’s a lot of things I don’t know.

I do know one thing: life is short. Very short. And I, personally, still want to do things. I want to travel and hug people without fear, and find a little feeling of life “before”.

Throughout my life I’ve been vaccinated against many diseases. Measles, mumps, rubella, polio, chickenpox, hepatitis, pneumonia, influenza, rotavirus, tetanus, pertussis, rabies, yellow fever, typhoid and cholera. My parents (and I) trusted the science.

And bummer, I had a fit with typhoid for a few months in my life. No fun. It was like all the Dengue I had, times 10. It was a variant I wasn’t vaccinated against.

I’m vaccinated. Not to please a government. Or the lady at the store next door. Or to get a Green pass on my app.

Not to make other people do it. But I don’t want to not to die from Covid-19, clutter a hospital bed if I get sick, not able to hug my loved ones, have to test myself routinely and live my life in fear.

I can’t say it any clearer.

My Neighbor’s Granola

Food Life the blog of Ramon Stoppelenburg

Tbilisi, December 10.

There was a loud banging on my door this morning. My neighbor from next door. A rather big-sized, older Georgian man. He was red faced and pointing to his throat with panic. Within five seconds I was Heimliching behind him. With success, because he left a piece of a bar of granola on the floor.

Fifteen minutes later we were having coffee at my place and we try to understand each other. He doesn’t speak a word of English and I don’t speak Kartvelian. He walked back to his apartment, came back and handed me a box of granola bars. He doesn’t need them anymore.

So this is the Goodbye Cambodia post

Life the blog of Ramon Stoppelenburg Travel

So this is the GOODBYE CAMBODIA post as I left the country on August 13, 2021. I thank everybody who has ever supported me on this almost 12-year journey. An utmost colorful chapter in the book of my life.

Thank you for your connection here, your dedication in Phnom Penh, your time to escape to the most comfortable movie theater South-East Asia has ever had, and your desire to see it grow into what it became.

Kolyan Keth now runs the Foodoo – The $5 Gourmet Dinner Box project, which I founded when I saw the need for dinner box deliveries three years ago. My pride and joy for better bread baking in Cambodia, Sandwich Heaven, is passed onto the hands of the highly professional Khmer managers. I keep the secret recipes for my vegetarian nut cheeses by The Nutcracker with me (I can always restart such production elsewhere again). The Phnom Penh’s English Book Exchange with a collection over over +1250 English fiction books has moved to Botanico Wine & Beer Garden.

My latest project, the literary magazine The Quiet Reader, will always stay an online project with the world’s most beautiful short stories by new and emerging authors. But imagine a Best Of-book, one day. To be continued…

The Flicks Community Movie House is closed forever and the venue has been stripped bare. What an enormous joy and connection with the community that job gave me. I don’t think I will ever meet that many people as through an operation like that.

I am so happy the ceiling plates did not fall down in the last weeks, the projector lamp didn’t die, the AC only needed one final re-gas, nobody fell through the termite infested floor planks below the carpet — so it can all nicely collapse on its own, in peace.

Living in Cambodia allowed me to travel and experience the different cultures in Thailand, Vietnam, Laos, Indonesia (where the earthquake tremors gave me some serious PTSD for months), Singapore, Malaysia, but also further away in Japan (which is “the most beautiful woman I have ever met, but I have no clue what she’s saying”), South Korea and China.

Thanks for all the memories, drinks, the foods, foreign friends visiting, the laughs, the journeys, pub quizzes, bike rides, brunches, beaches, sports, islands, and the many celebrations that made it all too unforgettable for the rest of my life.

Cambodia surely has its ups and downs and I have had my share (and enough) of all tropical diseases you can throw at me (I will tell you about that unforgettable typhoid experience for a few beers), but they are experiences nobody can ever take away from me.

There is a expression going around that if you can’t handle yourself (or a business) in Cambodia, you can’t handle yourself anywhere else and I see a good sense of truth in there.

Cambodia is a weird, sometimes baffling, but other times a true magical kingdom of wonder – that will always keep you wondering (and bribing the relevant ministries).

I am moving on, pursuing my dreams and passions. It’s time for a new life elsewhere.

To cite a recent fan mail: Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. THANK YOU.

Update: I returned back to live in Cambodia in March 2025. More about this later.

The day my music died

Life Music the blog of Ramon Stoppelenburg Travel

In was the summer of 2009 and I was living la dolce vita in Rome, blissfully unaware that the world was about to change.

I’d escaped my hometown Amsterdam for a week-long Italian adventure, taking the night train to Milan before continuing south through the rolling countryside to the Eternal City. My accommodations? A couch in the outer suburbs, courtesy of a generous young Italian couple who didn’t just offer me a place to sleep, they welcomed me into their world.

While they worked, I played the tourist with dedication. Vatican City, the Pantheon, pizzas, and the mighty Colosseum. Being the history nerd I am, I probably visited all 19 basilicas. But mostly, I did as Romans do: I ate gelato. Constantly. The summer heat demanded it.

Evenings were magic, music sessions with my hosts, impromptu gatherings with their friends, drinks that stretched late into the warm nights.

Then came an unexpected gift. One of my hosts worked security at concerts and invited me to join her at a major stadium show. The headliner? Tiziano Ferro. “He’s Italy’s Michael Jackson,” she explained. “Our biggest pop star.” I recognized the name from his Dutch radio hit that summer.

My ticket in was simple: help manage the wheelchair section near the stage. What followed was pure joy, thousands of voices singing in unison, the energy of Italian pop at its peak, and me learning lyrics in real-time.

After the show, I found myself in the stadium’s underground areas, waiting for my host to finish her duties. That’s when everything shifted.

A text message. Then another. Suddenly everyone had their phones out, faces changing from post-concert euphoria to shock.

In 2009, we couldn’t instantly check BBC online, news traveled through calls and text messages.

People stood in disbelief.

Some began to cry.

The night that had started with Tiziano Ferro, “Italy’s Michael Jackson”, ended with the news that the real Michael Jackson was gone.

We returned to that suburban apartment and did what people do when the world tilts: we played music, shared stories, drank wine, and stared out windows into a night that suddenly felt different.

Sometimes the most ordinary days become extraordinary, not for the reasons you expect, but for the moments when personal joy collides with collective loss, when a perfect day in Rome becomes inseparable from the day the King of Pop died.

 

Letmestayforaday becomes UNESCO Digital Heritage

the blog of Ramon Stoppelenburg

The story below is the English translation of the original story, written by Janske Mollen, for De Stentor, a Dutch national newspaper. (click here for the original Dutch story)

Conceived on the back of a beer coaster in a pub in Zwolle, since today it has been labeled ‘UNESCO Digital World Heritage’ by the Dutch Royal Library. The website Letmestayforaday.com of the Zwolle former journalism student Ramon Stoppelenburg will be saved forever for posterity.

The Royal Library of the Netherlands in The Hague, the Koninklijke Bibliotheek (KB), sees it as its task to preserve websites in a sustainable way and to keep them accessible and to protect them from loss. That is why the KB archives websites that as a collection provide a ‘representative picture of Dutch culture, history and society on the internet’.

“Many of those websites contain unique information,” says collection specialist Peter de Bode of the web archive of the Koninklijke Bibliotheek. “Sometimes those websites disappear when the owner no longer has the money to keep it up. Or because the technology is outdated. .”

Stoppelenburg’s website has been selected for the construction of a special KB collection of blogs. “Very special”, Stoppelenburg says. He responds via Skype from Phnomh Penh in Cambodia, where he has lived for several years. “Who would have thought, that when I was with my friends at the bar of student café, Iscribbled a few words on a coaster? I can still hear a friend wonder out loud ‘Who’s ever going to invite you to their home?’.”

International
The idea behind letmestayforaday.com was to see more of the world. At the time, Stoppelenburg studied journalism at Windesheim University of Applied Sciences. But he got the idea through the American website sendmeadollar.com. “But I didn’t want money, I wanted to travel.” In exchange for an overnight stay or a lift from address A to B, he would write about his adventures on his website, one of the first weblogs. After the launch of letmestayforaday.com in 2001, he received offered airfare and lodging from all over the world, he was closely followed by the international media and traveled for two years without spending a dime.

“I thought I would travel around Europe for a few years,” Stoppelenburg looks back. “But that I was allowed to travel halfway around the world?” With the help of tourism agencies and generous donors (a lady from Canada offered him Airmiles: ‘Otherwise you’ll never come to Canada’) he also traveled from address to address through South Africa, Australia and Canada. His experiences were followed worldwide and as soon as it was clear that he would visit a country, the invitations poured in.

Unique
Stoppelenburg finds it particularly special that his website is now ‘digital heritage’, because his website is in English. According to De Bode, that does not matter: “The criteria for being selected are that the information on the website should preferably be unique, that the site should be under Dutch management and that it should say something about culture, history and society. on the internet.” De Bode was also intrigued by the Stoppelenburg website: “Two years of free travel, that is so unique.”

10 million websites
KB has been working on a web archive since 2007. “In the meantime, 13,400 websites have been selected, says De Bode. “Every year, 1,000 to 1,500 are added. In total there are 10 million Dutch websites. This also includes websites with the extensions .com .eu .info. There are 5.8 million of the .nl extensions.” Archiving is not very fast, says the archivist. “That is because the selection is done manually, then the owners have to be emailed, they have four weeks to decline. Then we start archiving automatically.”

Vlogs
And not every website is archivable. Vlogs are mainly visual material that cannot be archived. Also because they are often on YouTube and we cannot archive that.”

Incidentally, archiving is sometimes also delayed by the archivists themselves. ,,I must honestly say that I did linger on the Stoppelenburg website for a while, yes. That does happen every now and then, when we come across something special to review.”

World Heritage
The fact that websites are ‘digital heritage’ is internationally recognized in the Unesco Charter on the Preservation of the Digital Heritage from 2003. “They call it world heritage”, says De Bode. “We regard it as digital heritage”. interest in websites that threaten to go offline. If that happens, we’ll lose them, and the information on them too.”

That World Blogging Forum 2009 in Bucharest

the blog of Ramon Stoppelenburg Travel

It is 2009. It all started with a suspicious email.

“Hello Ramon, we are inviting you to come to the World Blogging Forum in Bucharest in two weeks. Let us know your details and we arrange the flights.”

Me: “This is a scam, right?”

“Not at all. Have a look at our website. We have a full program with many bloggers from all over the world and are backed up by the Romanian government and all. Oh, and it will all take place at The Palace of the Parliament [only the second biggest building in the world]. We need you to be there too.”

We were not “bloggers” like how they are known nowadays. All participants were mostly the first ever people publishing on the internet. Some participants had no rights or freedom of expression in their own country. Some could not come because they were afraid. Others were arrested and detained when they returned to their home country after this event.

It was one of the highest honors to be present and discuss along with people with such caliber.

This was in times when we were still figuring out what this Twitter thing could mean. The world was modernizing really fast and phones lost buttons and became smarter. Don’t even think about uploading a video from your phone onto Youtube yet, though. Instagram did not even exist for another 3 years.

This ended up to be one my most dearest experiences ever. The people. The ideas. The care by all the English University students. Tours. The parks. The enthusiasm. (The after parties). Bucharest.

How to keep a place forever in a heart.

“Hope to never experience it again”

the blog of Ramon Stoppelenburg

My mother was born in 1939 and survived through the World War II in Rotterdam with her entire family. At times when the country is remembering the dead and fallen on May 4 and celebrating liberation and freedom on May 5, she will always have problems with these times from the past. For the newspaper the Old Rotterdammer she wrote her story “Hope to never experience it again”.

Here some excerpts:

“I can remember that we had to leave our house on the advice of the municipality, to the air-raid shelter on the East Square in Rotterdam. I don’t remember how long we’ve been there. At one moment we we were taken out of the shelter and loaded on a cart to the town of Bergschenhoek. We were brought to a farm for a few days and returned back to Rotterdam when it was safe again. The shelter had been bombed. According to my parents, our house had been emptied out nicely too.”

“One day, all men between 20 and 40 years old, had to report for the Arbeitseinsatz, to work in Germany. My mother and me brought my father to the Beursgebouw on the Coolsingel in Rotterdan. He was transferred to Germany where he had to work in a bakery. With the help of his German boss there, he managed to escape and he walked all the way back to Rotterdam. The Red Cross came to the house to tell my mum that my dad had probably died. But a few weeks later he was suddenly standing at the door.”

“I have experienced the liberation of the country more or less consciously and saw the airplanes flying over our heads, they were that big and close. My parents were cheering happily, I remember. My dad got his hands on a parachute. Years later I had made a dress from it.”

“Too bad I asked very little about the war from my parents. We didn’t talk much about that at home, or we were at an age that we were probably not interested in that either.”

That one week in Kugluktuk, in the cold North of Canada

the blog of Ramon Stoppelenburg

From 2001 to 2003  I traveled the world for free, thanks to my own social network www.letmestayforaday.com and the thousands of people from all over the world who invited me over through that website. In return, my compensation for free accommodation for one night, I published a daily travel diary on the website. The entire diary of over two years of traveling is still online and was published as a Dutch travel book in 2004. Below is an English translation from a chapter in this book, which became relevant after the release of the movie The Grizzlies, filmed in Kugluktuk one year after my visit in 2003.

First, some background on the location. Yellowknife is situated at the North end of the Great Slave Lake and came to being after the gold rush of 1934. Yellowknife consists of the Old Town, built on a small island, and New Town, spread out over the bare, frozen tundra’s of the North. During the long and dark winter days, the Great Slave Lake becomes a ring road for Yellowknife and people drive over the vast ice pack. After the slow decline of the gold findings, pure diamonds were found decades ago and the city quickly developed into one of the most important diamond supplier worldwide. Read More

My First Christmas outside of Cambodia

the blog of Ramon Stoppelenburg

Because that was technically what it was. After living in Cambodia for over 7 years now, I had never left the country for the Christmas holidays.

I had escaped to beaches, or just hide out, while pretty much everybody else leaves the country to “go back home” for a few weeks. And I would be jealous. And all the social media channels would show photos of these friends with families and friend back home, mostly involving lots of food and, of course, snow.

It was in September last year that I got an invite to come to France this winter.

The invite had come from the French mademoiselle Mathilde, who I had met on Otres Beach in Sihanoukville (Cambodia) last summer. Add a bit of financial luck on my side and I had simply booked the tickets. I told my family I would spend Christmas and New Year’s Eve with them in The Netherlands and then spend another 10 days in France.

After training hard for the Angkor Wat International Half Marathon (Dec 3) and the Chiang Mai Throwdown in Thailand (Dec 9-10) and working (perhaps a bit too) hard on a short literary story.

And what a beautiful escape that was.

And as I want to add: COLD. I had forgotten how cold could be.

I went shopping in Rotterdam with my dad and after parking the car we just had a 1km walk and my toes had become numb. I had him figure out which speaker system he had to buy for his personal computer as I was still crawling up the stairs of the MediaMarkt in agony and with the anxious desperation of getting a sense of feeling back in my feet.

The escape from Cambodia to Europe for the Christmas holidays was a necessary one, too.

Once in a while you have to leave home (Phnom Penh for me) to empty the head, defragment certain damaged brain cells, get loose, let things go and experience something else before returning back and gain a way fresher start.

And loose I got and went in France!

On New Year’s day I arrived by train from Rotterdam in the small city of Valenciennes, in the northern departments of France, where I was welcomed by the lovely Mathilde in the warm and historic castle of her mum’s. And Mathilde had all her lovely friends still-left-over from the previous day New Year’s Eve party. A house full of fun and welcoming people, added with plates of cheese and Belgian Kasteel Rouge beer (what a joy) followed.

In Valanciennes we spent the days walking around (strangely zhe French love walking and I seriously wondered why they don’t have bicycles to get around faster – or even tuktuks!?) and even climbing up a nearby terril, a man-made stone mountain from the region’s former glory coal mining days. And did I add already that it was cold? My Cambodian body was slowly getting used to below 10 degrees Celsius temperatures.

Then followed a week in Paris, where I lived with Mathilde in her small student studio near the Université Paris Nanterre, just west of the city of lights (and cheese). Thanks to a mocked-up student pass with my pass photo on it for the regional train, Paris was within 10 minutes of public transport distance at all time.

Start the accordion music by Yann Tiersen now – and see us wandering the streets of Montmartre and up the Sacre Coeur, see me go selfie crazy at the Arc de Triomphe, The Louvre museum, the Notre Dame and of course the Eiffel Tower (which gets lit up like crazy for 5 minutes every hour after sunset!), walk down the Avenue des Champs-Elysées, crossing the Seine and get lost in the most existing book store on earth: Shakespeare & Company.

We ate French raclette (think lots of melted cheese!), stick bread, cheeses, Italian pasta and pizza, Mexican burritos, at Burger King or at Amélie’s Les Deux Moulins and croissants. Lots of croissants – however I learned it’s a crime in France to have croissants at anytime after breakfast! We had the best hot chocolate ever (in my life!) at Angelina’s, a super fancy lunch room where we simply jumped the 30-minutes queue outside.

If you think I returned to Cambodia quite fattened up, these were the reasons. I also thought I needed some fat to warm up a bit more.

Trying out one CrossFit class at the Reebok CrossFit Louvre was a great excessive workout that included a 4x 400m run through the streets of Paris. Yes, cold, but I can’t complain about that, I was trying hard to get sweaty!

In the evening we went to the movies and I utterly enjoyed Le Brio (with English subtitles at the French cinema night for expatriates in town!) and we went to see what the fuss was all about with the upcoming-awards-winner All The Money in the World.

My digital step counter on my watch went crazy these days and even recorded an all-time record over 24,000 steps made on the last day in Paris. As a late birthday gift to me the lovely Mathilde treated me on a day at the Disneyland Park and the Walt Disney Studios of Paris!

What an utter joy that was. Had I already mentioned anything about the cold? So with extra layers of clothing we took the train and fought the weather at these amazing theme parks.

It was fun, thrilling and pretty exciting (my latest visit to a Disney park dates back to 1980 if I remember well) and I thoroughly enjoyed The Twilight Zone’s Hotel Tower of Terror and the various indoor and massive roller coasters, but melted with the attractions of Ratatouille and Pirates of the Caribbean.

As in every Disney park there was a big fluffy parade through Main Street – but the light show at the end of the day, every day at 7pm, was where Disney gave all of itself. The stunning Chateau de la Belle au Bois Domant (Sleeping Beauty’s Castle) became fully illuminated with a spectacular 20-minutes light show that blew me (and a few thousand other spectators) away, including the fire works show that came with it.

This video is just an impression of that…

Talk about a closing act! Now this all became a birthday present not to forget very easy!

The only downside to the theme park business is that I don’t see much value in waiting in 45 minutes queues for a less than 4 minutes attraction, but –hey– I must be getting old. It also had to do something with the cold – which I might have mentioned before. It was cold outside!

And then it was January 10 and it was time to head back home again.

My escape from Cambodia worked pretty well for me.

I am thankful for the volunteers that stayed behind at The Flicks in Phnom Penh for keeping the business running in my absence (and not burning the place down) and feed the five cats that were dearly missed.

But I am most thankful for Mathilde for inviting me over and taking me in after meeting up only shortly in Cambodia!

Thanks for surviving me that long so far and perhaps our paths might cross again in the future! <3

Now let’s get back to the ordinary hassle in the city, back to eating healthy food (I need to get rid of that extra built-up layer of fat now) and a sportive regime in life.

I can say that 2018 started pretty good and I want to keep it that way. Just keep the cold, it’s all yours.

Valentine’s Day 2017

Life the blog of Ramon Stoppelenburg

I am an individual.
And I take everything seriously. Except myself.
I cannot control how I am perceived, only how I am presented.
So I dance like everyone is watching and I don’t give a shit.
Without me, I’ve got nothing.
So when times get tough,
I choose downward dog over downward spiral.
I eat eggs and bacon in the morning, do push-ups before bed time, and ‘Look hot’ is always on my to-do list (right before ‘Go out into the world and kick some ass’).
I can get what I want.
But I can’t get it alone.
So I pull over to ask for directions. I never turn down a free lesson in anything, and when life gives me lemons, I find someone who wants lemons and sell them at a premium.
I am bullshit-intolerant, because lying only complicates everything.
I assume that assuming is a bad idea, and that trying to change people is not my job.
I am replaceable, but I bust up my ass to make sure it’s not so obvious. I never give up, I never give in, and when somebody makes me really angry, I do fifty pushups. (That will show ‘em).
While I know that most people don’t bite, I know the ones that do are usually worse off than me.
So I help strangers carry heavy things.
I never let anyone ruin my day and if I have time to judge someone, I’ll judge myself.
I am not for everyone and everyone is not for me.
So, I just do me,
one day at a time
and see what happens.

You Don’t Have to be Successful

the blog of Ramon Stoppelenburg

Success is an obsession.

Many people want it more than anything else. And they’ll sacrifice everything to have it – which is often the cost of admission.

I know sport coaches who consider themselves the ultimate beast and they want to beat anybody in the region. They ask me if I will participate in the CrossFit Open (The CrossFit Games Open is the world’s premier test of fitness. Since 2011, the five-week five-workout online competition has accurately ranked the fitness of millions of competitors), and I’ll answer that I will participate at my local gym, but I don’t really care about my ranking with the world. I do CrossFit to keep my General Physical Preparedness “for anything in life”, not to become stronger, fitter, badasser – all the time. It’s Training, not a Sport. It keeps me fit, strong and happy in life.

I know business owners here in Phnom Penh who are having a daily struggle to come out as the best with their business, trying to beat the competition wherever they can. Seriously, every day!

I know local athletic runners, who love doing marathons (seriously, the full 42 km) every few months. They need to run three times a week and they need to “make better times” every time. Anything less than last week’s time on the track field is seen as a failure.

And then you are the beast. And then you are the most profitable business man. And you win all marathons.

You don’t have to.

I made that big, bold and italic and larger for a reason.

There is the problem. Sustaining success, and going beyond success is nearly impossible for most people. Hence Greg McKeown, author of Essentialism, questions, “Why don’t successful people and organizations automatically become very successful?”

McKeown’s answer is succinct: Success is a catalyst for failure.

Being invisible is easy. When you make mistakes, you’re the only one who notices. Even being the underdog is easy. If you fail, you’re justified in doing so.

But when the spotlight is on you, everyone is waiting for you to fail. The external pressure often becomes too overpowering, smothering the values and vision it took to become successful in the first place.

Which is why success is often a short-lived experience. People come and go. Very few remain on top for long.

It is true in all domains of life. If you succeed in business, life doesn’t get easier. It gets harder.

This is where I throw in achievement.

The difference between success and achievement is subtle but crucial. Success is a subjective feeling about how you’re doing relative to why you’re doing it. Achievement is an objective measure about what you’ve actually done.

Yet, success is far more important than achievement. Indeed, you could have all the achievements in the world and not be successful.

You see this all the time, people who have many external indicators of success, yet inwardly, they are a wreck. They’ve lost their why, and thus, no longer remember the reason they are pursuing their goals in the first place.

What once was a genuine passion has now become a need for more external validation. An endless need to acquire and achieve more. Thus, rather than focusing on why, the focus becomes on what will work, and doing as much of that as possible, most likely at the expense of your values.

Interestingly, many successful entrepreneurs admit to being happier before they were “successful,” back when their motivations were congruent with their values. Achievement poisoned them, and their motivation changed.

If “success” is your primary objective, you probably won’t get it. Chasing success is like chasing happiness. You can’t pursue it directly. Both success and happiness ensue from something far more fundamental — who you are.

Don’t let your ego inflate and forget who you really are. This happened to me in the past year when I pursued dreams that didn’t come out in the end. I had to be better, faster and more successful – no matter what. If I had abandoned all my own values I would also loose the most important people in my life. And I almost lost them all.

With whatever you do in life. Don’t forget your “why.” That may be the hardest thing you do as you seek to improve your life.

I realized I am most happy when I do what I do because I enjoy it. I am compelled to create, experiment and improve, because that’s who I am.

My name is Ramon Stoppelenburg.
I break mold.
After a workout.
And before dinner.

A Telegram from 1974

the blog of Ramon Stoppelenburg

Before Snapchat, Whatsapp, Messenger, before MSN and ICQ and way before Browsing, Email and Internet, people send Letters by postal mail.

If you were far away and had to leave an urgent message, you used a Telegram.

This is one from my father, sending love from Indonesia to my mum and my brother, in 1974.

Sunday Drawing

the blog of Ramon Stoppelenburg

Every few weeks I head out to my local Drink & Draw session, at the top floor of Show Box bar in Phnom Penh. You get yourself a drink at the bar and head upstairs with your drawing materials.

There, a model (often a nude male or female from the Drink & Draw community itself) is available for an evening of drawing. Great therapy to clear the head and open the mind. More info here.

Bingo! Another tropical disease!

the blog of Ramon Stoppelenburg

Living in the tropics is like… well, I don’t want to bore you with the clichés, but it’s wonderful. It’s charming, it’s relaxing (even though the traffic might not give you that sensation), it’s HOT, and you’ll always hear that the people are nice and the FOOD is great.

There are only a few things with life in the tropics that you have absolutely no control about. Read More

And then I suddenly had Typhoid Fever

the blog of Ramon Stoppelenburg 3 Comments

My landlord came to visit to collect the money for my last month’s electricity bill. He asked me how my illness was going.
“Oh, very good,” I said while sweating abundantly.
“What was it again?” he asked.
“Typhoid. Typhoid fever.”
And with these words he took a few steps back. “Oh. That’s not fun. Not so good. You get better soon. You can also pay next month, no problem for me.” He already opened my door. “Hey, no problem. Good night.” And he was gone. Read More

A writer is simply a humble journalist reporting on things that happen in a world of fiction

novel the blog of Ramon Stoppelenburg

I can only write well after a stormy night. Or when I have slept rather bad. Or if I’m just really under a certain pressure. I must then really defragment my entire head and all the spun webs in it and that is best done while writing.

Yeah, but what if you had a great sleep? And you wake up, slept in and all, and the sun is shining and there is not a cloud in the sky? The newspapers report nothing special, the mailbox is shockingly empty (I had to check the day, it’s not a Sunday?) And the radio just plays normal pop songs. Read More

Everybody Needs a Life Line. And I Need One Too.

the blog of Ramon Stoppelenburg 3 Comments

You probably once stumbled on my previous blog post, in which I wrote about waking up early to write.

Waking up early to write – so that meant 4.30am – ended up to be quite an effort. And to be honest with you, I managed to do it for about one month. The first week of this year, in which I allowed myself to finally start writing, were all about that early alarm. Interrupted by a necessary trip through neighboring Viet Nam, I continued with the scheme as soon as I got back home again.

And then I had to stop it.

I discovered two significant reasons to immediately stop with the early rising stuff. Firstly, my writing got out of control. I was writing that much that I lost the direction where I was supposed to go, characters got to do and say their own thing and it was hard to stay on track with the story.

And that track was missing. I have the initial idea for the novel in my head, but that did not seem to be enough as a base. What I was missing was The Outline. The life line for writing.

“Hey character, where are you going? That’s not where you are supposed to go. Here is a buoy. Let me pull you back.”

Yes, I was naive enough to think I could just start off with the story I had to tell.

Secondly, not only was I knackered at 11pm at night. I also became Mr Oh-I-really-need-a-nap, preferably at 5pm. If I could not have that nap of about one hour, I would become cranky. I was tired all evening. I wasn’t fun. I wasn’t exactly nice company for others either.

Of course it’s great to be able to talk with friends about my writing at the dining table and how cool it is to wake up early. But they saw it too: the tiredness in my eyes.

So BANG. There was the second reason. I want to stay socially human. I don’t have to wake that early to write.

What I needed the most was The Outline. Again, that safety net. That thin red line that should connect everything that will happen with which characters and at what time in a novel is totally unmissable. And with that awesome story in my head, even plotting down that necessary outline isn’t that easy.

But it will serve as a blue print. It has to be fixed from the beginning, otherwise I loose control – and I just learned that.

And what happens with the stuff that I did write that early?

Yes, that was quite a lot. About 15,000 words. But it ain’t all quality stuff and I think most of that material might not even enter the novel. Ever.

Perhaps in other words, though.

Date a Man Who Travels

the blog of Ramon Stoppelenburg 212 Comments

Date a man who treasures experiences over material possessions, a hand-woven bracelet over a Rolex. Date the man who scoffs at the words “vacation,” “all-inclusive,” or “resort.” Date a man who travels because he’s driven by a multitude of goals, not just one.

You might find him in an airport or at a bookstore browsing travel guides, though he “only uses them for reference.” Read More

The Move & the Black Hole I discovered

the blog of Ramon Stoppelenburg

What would I wish I had known when I first moved to Cambodia?

Well, the answer became my submission to the popular blog of Move To Cambodia (which is a great book too, by the way!).

When I decided to move to Cambodia for the obvious reasons of the tropical temperature, great food, fascinating, friendly people and less hard work for less necessary bucks, I didn’t know about the giant black hole I would fall into within the first few months. Read More

The Fascination of the First Post

the blog of Ramon Stoppelenburg 3 Comments

So you click to see what that first post is about, hey? Well, true, it’s The Fascination for The First Post that got you here.

I guess you are interested in the beginning of the story. Where it all started on this website. And you expect the reason for its existence. And the explanation of the name HereIGoAgainOnMyOwn. Read More